By Gift James
A survey by Mwelekeo Insights revealed a differing perception on bride price between the old and the rural folk against the skeptic younger and urban generation.
The survey observed growing skepticism among younger, urban men which paints a different picture.
The younger generation with more exposure to global ideas and shifting gender roles, question whether this practice still makes sense.
“That does not mean they disrespect culture—they struggle to balance it with modern life’s realities. The generational and geographic divide here is not surprising but telling. It suggests we are at a point where something has to give. Maybe the solution isn’t to scrap bride price altogether, but to rethink what it stands for and how it is practiced. If we’re honest, both sides have a point, which is precisely why this conversation matters,’ it reads.
While the older and rural men still strongly support bride price speaks volumes about how deeply it’s woven into the fabric of traditional communities. For them, it is not just a custom but part of maintaining identity, respect, and family ties.
The study also revealed Kenyan men’s attitudes toward the bride price tradition provides a comprehensive look at a deeply rooted cultural practice through the lenses of support, neutrality, and opposition.
- Universal Awareness, Divergent Understanding
Finding One
Awareness of bride price is nearly universal, but interpretations vary, with some viewing it as a sacred cultural rite and others as transactional or exploitative. Nearly everyone in Kenya knows the bride price, which says a lot about how central it remains to our culture. For many, it is more than a tradition; it is a gesture of respect, a way to honor the bride’s family, and a symbol of unity. But the fact that people understand it so differently today, some seeing it as meaningful, others as a burden- shows that we are in the middle of a cultural shift. It’s no longer just about following tradition; it is about questioning what it means in today’s world. While critics may quickly label bride price exploitative, that view can miss the deeper value it holds for many families. Still, we cannot ignore the concerns. Seeing it as a “sacred rite” does not change the fact that some feel it puts a price tag on women. These mixed views aren’t something to fear; they are a sign that we need to talk, openly and honestly, about how this tradition fits into modern life. Maybe it doesn’t need to disappear, but it must evolve.
. A Divisive Tradition on Gender Issues
Finding Three.
Perceptions of fairness and gender roles strongly influence attitudes toward bride price, with sharp opinions on its role and relevance. Bride price is not about gender inequality but honoring the bride’s family and fostering unity. Critics who frame it as patriarchal misinterpret its intent. It is a mutual agreement that strengthens familial bonds, and dismissing it as divisive ignores its role in building stable marriages rooted in respect. On the contrary, the polarized views on gender and fairness show that bride price is a lightning rod for broader societal debates. Supporters see it as a cultural gesture, while critics view it as reinforcing male dominance. Both sides have valid points, suggesting a need for reforms that preserve cultural value while addressing concerns about fairness. Lastly, the sharp divide on gender issues confirms that the bride price is inherently problematic. It often implies ownership over women, undermining their autonomy and reinforcing patriarchal norms. The finding that fairness is a key concern proves that the tradition is at odds with modern gender equality principles and needs significant reform or abolition.
- Bride Price in the Face of Education and Exposure
Finding Four.
Urban residency, higher education, and exposure to diverse cultures correlate with more critical views of bride price. There is no denying that education and urban life tend to shift how people see things—including long-standing traditions like bride price. For some men, learning more about global norms and gender equality leads to tough questions about whether this practice still fits in today’s world. But at the same time, it is crucial not to lose sight of what bride price means to many communities: a way to bring families together, to show respect, and to honor cultural ties. Just because some educated men are critical does not mean the tradition has no value; it means there is room for change. Maybe instead of throwing it out, we need to rethink it. Can we keep the symbolic meaning while letting go of what no longer serves us? This finding, that exposure to broader ideas often leads to criticism, is not a rejection of culture; it is a sign that people are ready to have a more honest conversation about what this tradition should look like moving forward.
- When Culture Meets Cost
Finding Five
Economic realities, particularly affordability, significantly shape opinions about bride price, with many citing financial burdens as a reason for opposition or reform. Economic concerns are valid, but do not justify abandoning the bride price. The tradition’s value lies in its symbolism, not its cost. Families should negotiate reasonable payments to preserve the practice’s essence without burdening young men, ensuring it remains a meaningful gesture of respect. At the same time, the economic burden of bride price highlights a tension between cultural tradition and financial realities. While the practice holds meaning for many, its costs can delay marriages or fuel resentment. Reforms like symbolic payments or mutual agreements could bridge this gap, balancing heritage with practicality. The economic strain of bride price is an apparent reason for abolishing it. High costs make it inaccessible for many young men, delaying marriages and fostering resentment. The finding that affordability drives opposition shows the practice is unsustainable in today’s economy and should be replaced with equitable alternatives.
- Who Should Pay? A Question of Roles and Responsibility
Finding Six.
Most men believe the groom or his family should pay, but there’s growing debate about cost-sharing and fairness amid feminist awareness. The tradition of the groom’s family paying bride price is a respected norm that symbolizes commitment and responsibility. Debates about cost-sharing reflect a misunderstanding of its cultural significance. Rather than diluting the practice, families should focus on fair negotiations to uphold its value. The expectation that grooms pay reflects tradition, but the growing debate about cost-sharing shows evolving gender roles. Feminist awareness challenges rigid norms, suggesting a need for flexible arrangements where both families contribute or payments are symbolic. It could align the bride’s price with the modern values of partnership. The expectation that grooms pay reinforces outdated gender roles and places unfair financial pressure on men. The debate about cost-sharing is a step forward, but does not go far enough. Bride price itself is rooted in patriarchal assumptions and should be replaced with practices that promote equality and mutual respect.
The Mwelekeo Insights study reveals a complex landscape of opinions on the bride price tradition in Kenya. Supporters see it as a vital cultural practice that fosters unity and respect, neutrals advocate for reform to balance tradition with modern realities, and opposers view it as an outdated, patriarchal burden that undermines equality. These findings underscore the need for inclusive dialogue to redefine bride price in a way that honors Kenya’s cultural heritage while addressing economic pressures and gender equality concerns. Whether through reform or replacement, the future of bride price depends on open conversations that include diverse voices and perspectives.
